27th July

A new start for my blog. Not a happy starting.
Don't know what happen with me today.
Almost tear dropping in the train.
Send few SMS, but never get reply. Lost
I hate my world to be lonely, but in fact, I always alone.
I just hope some one to listen me seriously.
Even he didn't give me any feedback or advise, at least a respond.
I'm not over, right?

Listen to the techno song and feel like tear drop it just not a good experience.
Try to use the way that I learn at "Emotional Intelligent" training
"Whenever you feel your are emotional, just stop all the things and take few deep breath"
I try 20 time, 50 times, 70 times, 120 times......
At the end, I reach home, take a shower,finally, collapse on my bed.
Crying like a baby. Feel helpless. Feel hurt. Feel lonely.
I need some one the just beside me and lend me his shoulder.
I need some one just give me a hug when I need and I don't care whether he know what to say.
Maybe this is just a wild wishes for me. I not deserve to get all this.

I give up many good people in my life. I don't know how to treasure.
Fate just pass by my side for few times and I didn't hold it tight, this is what the result.
The one I care, the one I love now become others partner.
What I get now? Loneliness and sadness.
Blame who? Blame no one...... but myself

Wiping all tears, wearing a mask, I'm a clown, smiling outside, tearing inside.